The French Mistake
by olivialourde
Summary: The French Mistake episode FINALLY grew on me and I actually got ideas. Whoo!


**THE FRENCH MISTAKE.**

 _(As Dean is complaining that they are out of alcohol, Sophia's senses start going haywire.)_

Dean: Sophia?

Sophia: Something's wrong.

Dean: Hell yeah, something's wrong. We're out of booze.

Sophia: No-

 _(Lights begin to flicker. They look around, and Sophia turns slowly to face Balthazar.)_

Sophia: Balthazar?

Balthazar: Hello, darling. You look positively ravishing this evening. That shade of red is stunning on you.

Sophia: Why are you…?

Balthazar: You remember the Godfather?

 _(Balthazar goes into his Godfather metaphor while Sam and Dean look confused. Sophia understands immediately.)_

Sophia: He's sending someone to kill us, isn't he? All of us.

Balthazar: That's where the story differs, lambkin. Sam and Dean, he's happy to kill. You, he wants alive.

Sophia: He knows Castiel will come for me.

Balthazar: He's counting on it. We don't have much time. Raphael also knows that I would come to warn you.

 _(Balthazar has blasted all three of them into this alternate world where they are actors. Sophia is completely lost as to how to blend in.)_

Sophia: Sam, Dean, what the hell is going on?

Sam: Is there anyway we can get out of here?

Sophia: I can't do anything. I can't even feel my power. Just act natural. We'll get through this.

 _(As Dean, Sam, and Sophia are walking around, they see who they think is Castiel. Sophia runs up to him, grabbing his hands. Meta!Misha pretends to be in character, and they run lines. Sophia is so relieved to see Castiel that she jumps into his arms and kisses him.)_

Sophia: I was so worried you were dead.

Meta!Misha: Whoa, girl, that felt totally real. I wish we kissed like that on screen all the time!

Sophia: Wait, what?

Meta!Misha: You know, when we're on the show. You always kiss me like you can't stand me. No wonder the fans don't find our relationship believable. Anyway, see you at home!

Sophia: Home.

Meta!Misha: Yeah, you know, where you and I live?! We're in a relationship, remember? We've been together for like, two years? You know, after you and Jared broke up? Did you hit the bottle with Jensen again last night? Are you okay?

 _(Dean and Sophia exchange side glances.)_

Sophia: Um… yes. Matter of fact, we DID hit the bottle. Might have to check into AA.

 _(Meta!Misha looks annoyed.)_

Meta!Misha: You know, it's about you grew up, babe. We have a son now. He needs his parents.

 _(Sophia is shocked, and struggles to cover it.)_

Sophia: Son.

Meta!Misha: You know, your son, West Anaximander Collins? You cried when he was born. Does anything mean anything to you anymore?

 _(Meta!Misha walks away, but not before Sophia responds.)_

Sophia: I wasn't crying. There was something in my eyes.

 _(Meta!Misha pauses, glaring at her.)_

Meta!Misha: …You really are the ice queen they say you are. Anyway, be home tonight. Little guy's five months old and I want to do something special.

 _(Meta!Misha walks away, pulling out his phone. Sophia is stunned.)_

Sophia: What a jack ass. Can I kill him?

Sam: No. Come on.

 _(They keep walking.)_

 _(The three of them try to leave in an Impala, but get stopped by a PA. Clif pulls up to drive the guys, and Meta!Misha pulls up, waiting for Sophia.)_

Sophia: I… guess I'm going home with fake Cas tonight? Please don't die.

Dean: Yeah, you too. Don't kill him, either. And Sophia…

Sophia: Yeah?

Dean: Try and… act natural. Remember he's not Cas.

Sophia: Right. Yeah. Not Cas. Got it.

 _(Meta!Misha beeps the horn and Sophia looks over at him. He motions impatiently for her to get in the car, annoyed at having to wait for her. She rolls her eyes.)_

Sophia: He's just as impatient, though.

 _(She gets into his car, looking at Sam and Dean as Meta!Misha drives off.)_

 _(Sophia and Meta!Misha are canoodling at Meta!Misha's chair as Dean and Sam walk in the next day. He's all over her, a complete 180 from the day before. Sam and Dean give her a look, but she ignores them.)_

Meta!Misha: Last night was so amazing, baby. I can't believe you actually got the little guy to smile and to fall asleep in your arms. _(Thinks for a few seconds)_ I don't think you've ever even held him before.

Sophia: Guess I just have a way with babies.

 _(Meta!Misha slides his arm around her waist and slaps Sophia's ass, then grips it; she bites back a grin. Sam and Dean are looking at her in confusion.)_

Meta!Misha: And God, the sex last night! If you weren't on birth control, I'd say we made another baby! You were on fire, babe. I'm sorry about those horrible things I said to you yesterday; you know, about you being an Ice Queen.

Sophia: It's all good. I mean, I AM kind of a jackass.

Meta!Misha: No, sweetheart, you're beautiful. You deserve better, and I don't know how you put up with me.

 _(Meta!Misha looks up into her eyes adoringly, and Sophia is nearly melting. Dean grabs her arm, and she looks up at him, annoyed.)_

Sophia: What do you want… JENSEN?

Dean: Could I borrow you for a minute?

 _(They walk over to the side, Dean trying not to show his jealousy.)_

Sophia: What?

Dean: Everything's in place. We just need the set cleared while we set up.

Sophia: Do we have to rush back? I mean…

 _(Sophia gazes over at Meta!Misha adoringly, loving every second of the attention he's giving her, the attention she craves from Castiel.)_

Dean: Sophia, while you suck that guy's face off, the real Castiel is likely getting ass pounded in Heaven, and could even be dead. Come on.

 _(Sophia's face changes, her concern reaching its peak.)_

Sophia: He's not that stupid, Dean. And don't think I didn't pick up on your jealousy.

Dean: I'm not jealous.

Sophia: Oh, really?

 _(Sophia walks back over to Meta!Misha, and he slides another arm around her, his hand grazing her ass. She positions herself so that Dean has a front row seat as she smiles, kissing Meta!Misha. He picks her up, putting her on his lap and sliding his hand in between her thighs. Her hands run through his hair and scratch down his chest.)_

Meta!Misha: Goddamn, you're hot, babe. I'm so glad we're working on our relationship. It's so important for West to grow up with parents who get along.

Sophia: Yeah, we need to be positive role models for him.

 _(Dean cannot hide the jealousy on his face, but he turns back to Sam.)_

 _(Raphael pulls the three of them back into their real world, and Sophia is ready. Her knife is out, and Raphael laughs.)_

Raphael: You. Castiel will come running for you.

Sophia: Don't be so sure. I've survived this long without him, I think I can survive you.

Raphael: Who said anything about surviving?

 _(Raphael raises a hand to clench her aura, hurting her immensely. Sophia reaches out along the line of power and crackles it, dealing Raphael just as much pain. Raphael staggers, releasing hold of her, turning his attention to Sam and Dean. She takes the key from Sam.)_

Sophia: You think you'll win, don't you?

Raphael: With this key, the tide of this civil war changes and leans in my favor.

 _(Sophia smiles over Raphael's shoulder, because Balthazar has reappeared behind Raphael.)_

Balthazar: And that key opens a locker at the Albany bus station.

Raphael: Does it now?

 _(Raphael prepares to smite all four of them, but then Castiel appears. After Castiel warns Raphael not to fight him, and to leave, Castiel turns to Sophia, taking her hand and pulling her close.)_

Sophia: You came.

Castiel: Of course I did. You were in danger. What should I have done?

Sophia: I didn't think you would come. You haven't come before.

Castiel: Sophia, I'm sorry. I love you. But Heaven is a battlefield right now. I am sorry, my love.

Sophia: I know. I don't know what I expected.

 _(Sophia walks away, and Castiel is confounded at her response. He stares after her in confusion.)_

Dean: It's been a weird couple days in another universe, okay? Her head's not right. Give her time, okay?

Castiel: What happened?

Sam: Better left unsaid, okay? What's the deal with Heaven? How can we help?

Castiel: I'll explain when I can.

 _(Castiel disappears.)_


End file.
